On March 17, 2003 we found out we were pregnant with baby #3. We were still living in Maryland at the time but Joe would graduate from medical school in May before starting his Orthopaedic Residency in San Antonio, Texas. The months of my pregnancy passed quickly due to the graduation, a move half-way across the country, the wedding of Joe's youngest sister, and the passing of both of his grandmothers. When we finally moved into our brand new and first "owned" home in San Antonio at the end of July, I was in a rush to get completely moved in and settled before our new little boy would arrive.
I was due on November 27, Thanksgiving Day. I was hoping that he would come early since I didn't want to spend my Thanksgiving with dinner in a hospital. As luck, and an aggressive doctor's appointment the day before, would have it, I woke up around 4:30 a.m. on Saturday, November 22nd, when my water broke. I lay there expecting the contractions to come quickly like they had with Clark and Katelyn but it didn't happen. Around 7:30, I woke up with a few contractions here and there but decided that we better just head into the hospital since I was "leaking".
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| Jake's Birthday |
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| Going home from the hospital |
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| I loved his wide-mouthed smile and actually missed it after surgery |
I wasn't progressing very quickly so they decided to watch me until noon to see if my contractions would increase and I would go into labor on my own. This didn't happen and I was still dilated to 4 centimeters so they started me on Pitocin to induce labor at 11:45 a.m. Things got pretty intense rather quickly. I called for my epidural and after I got it, I couldn't move or feel my legs but I felt the pain of the contractions and the pressure of pushing. I told Joe that I didn't think the epidural worked right and that I couldn't do it this time. It was hurting much worse than when I had Clark. He explained that it was because of the pitocin and things would be more intense but that I could do it. The doctor checked me again and I was dilated to 8 cm. She said that she would come back in 30 minutes. I asked her to just sit on the bed next to me for a couple of minutes. She had barely sat down when I told her that I was ready to push. Her eyebrows raised and she acted surprised but checked me again and I was ready to go. I pushed a couple of times and Jake was ready. On the third push, I backed up rather quickly on the bed when he came out and ended up breaking my tail bone in the process.
I was very happy when he was delivered at 8 lbs. 8 oz. but after Joe cut the cord, he came to look at me and I could see on his face that something was wrong. I asked, "What is wrong?" and he told me that Jake had a cleft lip. I immediately burst into tears. I hadn't seen him yet since they were cleaning him up and checking him physically so of course, my imagination was running wild with images of what he looked like. The doctors were assuring me that with the technology these days, cleft lips are so easy to fix and hardly noticeable. Of course, I was terrified and very skeptical. Emotions run high when you have a healthy baby so to hear that something was wrong about did me in.
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| Three days after surgery |
I felt extremely guilty that it was my fault that he didn't develop properly. Everything that I had or had not eaten during the last 9 months went through my head as well as some very irrational thinking. Had I taken good care of myself--not doing too much strenuous exercise, taking my pre-natal vitamins, eating healthy, etc.? Had I taken it easy enough when I was teaching dance? Did I eat a good healthy breakfast every day? Did I lift too much during our move? I thought about how ironic it was that we had been scared that Clark had a cleft lip at my 18 week ultrasound but 4 weeks later, the radiologist realized that it had been just a shadow. I realized that it actually happened to my other son and it hadn't been seen on the ultrasound. Would girls would want to kiss him when he got older? Would people cringe at the sight of him when I would run errands or take him out in public? (See? very irrational thoughts)
When I finally saw him, I stared at him, crying, yet thinking that he was still beautiful and his mouth didn't look as bad as I had imagined. Complete relief came when the doctors announced that he was also lucky enough to have a partial cleft with no palate. The roof of his mouth was completely formed and only one side of his lip hadn't closed completely. Chances were that he wouldn't have any eating problems or possible speech impediments, and less surgeries.
My parents and in-laws were in town for Thanksgiving so they all came to the hospital that evening to meet Jacob. Family members were surprised because we were planning on naming him Parker but changed our minds that last week before he was born. (I actually changed his name because I have always loved Jacob and the nickname, Jake) Clark and Katelyn were very excited to meet their new little brother. Clark was 4 years old at the time and asked why his lip was broken and why he looked like a dog. (Awww, the innocence of a child . . .) We explained to him that it didn't form all the way while he was in my tummy and he seemed to understand. Katelyn was 2 years old and didn't have a clue. She just loved holding and kissing him.
In January, we met with several doctors on a cranio-facial board. Everyone that had some type of "birth defect" would meet with this board every year. The doctors included specialists in genetics, pediatrics, ENT, audiology, speech, social work, oral and maxillofacial surgery, and plastic surgery. We took our 6 week old baby to a full day of visiting doctors and answering questions about our life, our relatives and their medical history, and testing Jake. At the end of the day, they scheduled his plastic surgery for February. Dr. Chandler explained that it wouldn't be stitches, but Dermabond so that his scar would be minimal and since his cleft was only partial it would be easy to do.
On February 23, 2004, I took my 3-month old baby in for his first surgery. We were up at 5:00 a.m. to be at the hospital early enough to check in before the surgery at 7:00. He was asleep the entire time while they checked his vitals before surgery. I remember the feeling of helplessness and fear as the nurse came and took my tiny, sleeping baby in his carseat to the operating room. Joe assured me that he would be fine and well taken care of. Dr. Chandler gave me a smile and said that he would look like a new kid when he came out but would still be as handsome as ever. The anesthesiologist was a good friend of ours and gave us a reassuring wave as Jake went through the O.R. doors.
We waited patiently and tried to catch some extra sleep while Jake was in surgery. It lasted about 1.5 hours. The nurse woke us up and said that the surgery was done and they were just waiting for Jake to wake up. About 20-30 minutes later, we heard Jake crying and the nurse carried him out to us. She smiled and announced, "He's awake and really hungry!" I looked at my sweet baby and laughed with relief at hearing him cry and seeing his face. It was unbelievable how good his lip looked. He was a little swollen and there was a stitch in his nose to pull up his left nostril but he looked fantastic. After feeding and changing him, we went into our hospital room where we spent the rest of the day and night for observation.
The next morning we headed home. Jake did really well with the pain and recovered rather quickly. The only thing that he hated was the slings that held his arms straight so that he wouldn't pick at his lip or nose. He had to sleep with those for a few days until he healed. He would get very frustrated and figured out that if he waved his arms around really fast, they would slide off. It was a task to try to keep them on.
Jake definitely fits the stigma of "third child". He is the most dramatic and loud, trying to make his presence known in our family and not get lost in the shuffle. He is very strong-willed and stubborn with an "I Don't Care" attitude, sometimes to a fault so that I wonder if he is even listening or anything is getting through that thick skull of his. However, as I'm telling him to listen and focus on what I'm saying, he is always the first to give me a hug and tell me he loves me. Jake is a home-body. He would much rather stay home with me than play with friends or go places. Sometimes I have to force him to go outside or play with his friends. He loves to snuggle up with me and watch a movie. I love it because I can catch a "10 minute snooze" and Jake will lay completely still while watching his "shows". He has his own schedule and way of doing things. Jake always has to have some down-time after school before jumping into homework or chores.
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| Casting his thumb in our kitchen |
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| Stitching up his head, also in our kitchen |
Jake has been the only one to have 2 surgeries (plastic and oral) and 2 sets of stitches. He has been the only thumb-sucker and we finally casted his thumb for 3 weeks last year during a school track break to try and break the habit. He was the hardest to potty-train and we had to force him to do that when he was 3 1/2 before starting preschool. He has also been the hardest to teach to ride a bike. He hates doing chores around the house and makes up excuses to get out of them. He is just happy with who he is, what he wants to do and when, and doesn't want to grow up.
Jacob is really fun to play with because he makes sound effects with toys and video games, loves to make up dance moves and songs, and likes to make people laugh. He loves to play with Clark and the "big boys" and hates being left out. Jake has the best smile when I have a camera in hand. He is so natural as he gives me a big smile and pose when I call his name. He loves to make up his own jokes and laughs hysterically at himself and America's Funniest Home Videos. He brings a lot of noise to our house but also a lot of joy.
Jakey, we are so lucky to have you as our son and in our family. Your smile lights up our house and your fun and energetic personality make us laugh. You are so loving to your little sister and always try to take care of her. Thank you for being so smart and witty. We like hearing your jokes and questions and love to watch you sing and dance around being silly. We love you, Jake the Snake.
